Crazy Things To Do With Mannequins

sunburned mannequin

Saw this weird orange/sunburned mannequin the other day at the mall.  It led me to come up with this Top Ten list of things to do with mannequins when you’re at a store.  In no particular order:

– Start screaming at one of them and when people start staring turn to them and say, “Do you mind?  This is personal!”

Whistle and make eyes at one of the more attractive mannequins.  Make the “call me” gesture from across the store.

– Find one of those mannequins where the head/arms are missing and then run up to the checkout counter and scream hysterically, “Someone’s been hurt, come quick!”

– Find a mannequin with arms and switch them around. (Bonus: Switch the arms and legs if possible. Like you used to do with Barbie and GI Joe figures).

– Find a mannequin with a head and turn it backwards.  Later, come back to the store, lay hands on the mannequin and start praying for it’s demonic deliverance.

– Bring a friend and stand in front of a mannequin commenting back and forth about it’s qualities like it’s a piece of art in a museum.  As you stand with folded arms or casually stroking your goatee say things like, “This style is so revolutionary, it’s going to change everything,” or “Just look at those colors… stunning.”

– Casually walk up to a mannequin, slap it in the face and yell, “That’s for what you did last night!”  After delivering your line and searing gaze, turn on your heels and storm out of the store in a huff.

– Walk up to a mannequin, wrap your arms around it and start sobbing quietly as you rest your head on it’s shoulder.  See how long it takes for an employee to say something.

– Pre-make a sign that says “I’m with stupid” with an arrow pointing to the left and bring it with you. Find a group of mannequins and hang the sign around one of their necks.  Take pictures. Run.

– Find a mannequin with posable arms and hands.  Pose them to throw up some gang signs.  (Bonus:  Find other mannequins and have them throw up rival gang signs across the store).

Crazy Snuggie Products That Never Made It To Market

snuggie for dogsOur secret research team has recently discovered some rejects from the Snuggie Research and Development laboratory.  Although these wonderful and Snuggeriffic products seem like great ideas they just never took off.  They are:

iSnug:  A Snuggie for your iphone that is cozy, warm and embarrassing. Available in black, grey, light grey and white (longer waits for white although you can pre-order it).  Also proven to help with the mysterious iphone4 antennae reception issue!

Muggie:  A Snuggie for your coffee mug to keep it warmer longer. And look like an idiot while you’re drinking it.

Buzzie:  Same as above except for keeping beer cold.

– Chuggie: A Snuggie with built in plastic beer hat with attached drinking straws.  Although it was the official Snuggie product of the NFL it has since been removed from shelves due to pressure from parent groups.

HuggySnuggie: A Snuggie for babies that also collects poop.

– Ruggie: Wall to wall carpet for your home that you can also wear.  Available in 3 shades of beautiful green shag.  Available in single and “family size.”

Smuggie:  A $799 Snuggie that is exactly the same as regular Snuggie only made of high-priced Tibetan Cashmere.  Targeted at wealthy consumers this Snuggie will make them feel superior and aloof to all the saps wearing normal blue collar Snuggies.

Buggie:  A Snuggie chemically soaked in mosquito repellant.  The perfect companion for a summer BBQ… keeps the chill off and the bugs away while you dine and snuggle with your best friends.

Pluggie:  A Snuggie targeted at the medical community this regular Snuggie will stop you from having incessant diarrhea. We were not able to ascertain how it worked only that it the FDA did not approve it as an appropriate medical device for the US market.

Hubby:  A soft, husband-replacement blanket that does not demand sandwiches, get bored with talking or watch TV.  The deluxe model also has a built-in speaker that says things like, “You look amazing,” and “How did i get so luck to marry you?”  Although we couldn’t confirm it rumor has it that there were 6 different celebrity voice settings including Brad Pitt, Antonio Bandaras and Taylor Lautner.

Talent Show CONTEST!

Do you know about the talent show contest yet?  It’s during the month of june and there are awesome prizes!  Watch this video for the details: